Posted at 10:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
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This is Eagle. Broad of vision and sharp taloned, having come to me last year. This pair are a magnificent sight and medicine that I am working with extremely carefully. There is so much to learn about this powerful bird, most of which I am only just beginning to see.
When I was twenty, I had to get corrective lenses for my nearsightedness. I still have excellent close range vision, but my far-sight has been impaired since early adulthood. I experienced a trauma at nineteen, and I've always wondered if it had anything to do with my fear of the future. Thinking this way has caused me to do everything I can come up with in order to cure my own vision. It may not be in my power to do so, but I will keep trying to shift my perspective-out of Mouse's tidy little den and up into the great blue sky to take in what lies outside my close range. I believe we can heal these things, if we can go into the origin and do what is necessary to free ourselves from the obstacle that once served as much-needed protection. Letting go. That's what it's all about for me: Trusting that I am safe. Soaring.
Eagle is the token representative of the East, rising with the morning Sun, bringing up the day and all possibilities with it. It is a symbol of vast and wide creativity, trust, connection to Spirit, and grasping what nourishes. Eagle has helped me tune into healing my family's past, present, and future, and he assists me in taking responsibility for my own growth. I have called upon him for guidance in matters of conducting sacred commerce, making educational choices for my children, and infusing my creative path with the flame and possibility of the dawn. It is my honor to work with Eagle and to realize that everything I do ripples out, and that I have a responsibility to understand what that will look like, even a hundred years from now.
Winter SouLodge is rounding out nicely, with its beautiful participants honoring White Buffalo's aspects of elder Wisdom, stillness, and inner council. This is the season of the North, in which we draw inward to conserve energies, connect to the hearth, and nurture the seeds deep inside the womb of Mama Earth-the very same seeds that will pop into action with a spark of warmth come Spring. Spring Lodge is filling quickly, where the focus will be on trust, new beginnings, and nurturing your creative and personal seedlings of 2012 and inspiring them with Eagle's sky dance for our energetic journey into the East on April 2nd.
SouLodge, and the community of women within it's sheltered circle, has become a place for me to hold sacred space for growth and healing of all kinds, and it is my honor to welcome the awakened ones who are called to come to the fire and dance.
Golden Days, by Hannah CrazyHawk
Posted at 10:09 PM in Animal Medicine, SouLodge | Permalink | Comments (11)
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It was nine years ago last month that I took myself to Big Sur for the first time. I disorientedly rang up my friend Swirly and asked her where she loved to go when she needed space away from it all, and this is where she directed me.
I'd had a second trimester miscarriage two weeks before I phoned her and those around me were worried that I would go up there and fling myself off of a cliff. Which, interestingly enough, was where I received the healing I required to move forward in the light, and in a new kind of strength that I'd never before experienced, alone.
Traumatic and blindsiding loss made me feel as though I was standing on a precipice. I packed some art supplies and my journal, and took the curvaceous drive up the California coast to the place where artists have been taking sanctuary for a hundred years or more. In many places the road comes very close to the edge of the Earth, reminding me of my fear of heights, my stomach flipping over as I snatched glimpses of the waves crashing on the rocks below.
The room I stayed in had nothing but a bed and a bathroom. No phone, no tv, no cell service. I painted, journalled, slept long hours dreaming of this baby spirit that had chosen to gift me with this experience before gifting me with motherhood.
On my last day there, I decided to stand at the scariest edge I could find on the roadside and rage out my grief-all of it-all the way back to childhood. I recalled what I'd heard someone say about heights reflecting fear not that we will fall, but that we will jump. I wonder if, for me, it was a fear of soaring...despite what was happening in my body and in my injured soul at the time. I remember feeling a tremendous comfort-that the sea was like a big bowl, a container that could totally hear and understand my rage, my disappointment and hold my tears for me. I grew louder and bolder, and still she rocked me softly. The sea lions below barked and cheerleaded. The turkey vultures circled overhead, not in wait for me to lay down and die so they could pick at my bones, but to take from me all that would become toxic if I held it inside. The scent of sagebrush wafted up and cleansed me. I can't remember a time where I felt more held and safe. I closed my eyes and felt the rubble moving under my unsteady feet, and learned to trust for the first time in my life. Tears of rage turned to tears of gratitude for my life, for all that was possible. I felt it for the whole world.
Often I am asked how it is I came to this work-to my connection with the Earth as a healer, and to the creatures. I suppose in some part, it began with this loss, and then an emptying. The void inside of me filled with light and I felt a strange commitment to want to give back to the Earth for the gift of being held when no one could hold me. I wanted to know I could always come here as if to an altar and find my illuminated self waiting at the edge, trusting.
It was lifechanging to discover that between just she and I, a relationship existed that could keep me in the light. That every part of her was rooting for me. Crumbling, barking, splashing, crashing...daring me to live well, to thrive, to be fully expressed.
I travel back every year to revisit the cliff's edge and to reconnect with my own light. Oddly enough, it only rained that year, and I visit in January or February, ritually. Twice I've been pregnant. Every time, I am rebirthed.
Posted at 12:13 PM in Animal Medicine, Fearless, Healing, Letting Go, Pregnancy, Travel | Permalink | Comments (31)
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Sometimes grown women need to be reminded not only how to play, but also of the sacredness of play.
Sara Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance Companion
Posted at 09:00 PM in Video | Permalink | Comments (17)
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Soujourning with women fills me up. Circling sacred is deep and personal to me, whether I'm the spaceholder or being held. Time in nature with incredible femmes lights my fire in all ways.
Such was the weekend at Teahouse and Point Reyes. If you've never taken a workshop at Teahouse, you must know how warm and inviting it is. The sun streams in the windows, falling across oversized mugs, piles of boxes of teas, little fists of stuffed grape leaves, open bars of spicy chocolate... The women who operate out of the space are well known in the arts community for prolific paintings and vintage-feel photos. They know their colorful, inspiring stuff.
Circle was held with fourteen of us, four journeys around the Medicine Wheel, prayer ties, a loungey lunch in the sunshine, and closing ceremony by Strawberry Creek. A few who came had not journeyed before, and all are exploring the various ways to see and think more symbolically and connected-to-nature about their lives.
As always, but not to homogenize how I feel about the power of women who gather, the caliber of dames was off the charts. And you know, my thoughts on this have nothing to do with what they do in the world, but with how deeply they are willing to go. Each time I sit in this distinct and never-ending shape, I am affirmed in my belief that every woman is a healer, every one a mother, a nurturer, a stewardess of the Earth in her own distinct way.
A magic moment during the third round occurred when each woman took a journey to obtain a message for the person lying next to her. A goddess with a goddess's name had received a blessing from Snake for her neighbor and we sat in disbelief when she was complete and the recipient stood up and unveiled a giant Snake tattoo that wrapped up her leg and up to her thigh. Magic happens, and it's very affirming and transformational. I think being seen by someone who doesn't know you and isn't attached, carries mystical medicine.
A magical meal was shared at Tacubaya, tortilla soup and chile relleno I won't soon forget.
More magic unfolded as we travelled out the next day to Point Reyes National Seashore, a no-longer-in-use turn of the century creamery with barns still standing at the edge of a Tule Elk preserve.
Elke May sounds a terrific lot like "alchemy"
I walked barefoot along the cool trail, where the Elk wander down, deeply breathing the air, drinking up the sun, and enjoying the company of some mighty fine women. Elk is a mother for me, sturdy and nourishing, comforting and serene. Communing with her energy ran my cup over.
Thank you SO much to the women who gathered and made beauty and medicine with me!
Posted at 05:55 PM in Teaching, Wild Woman, Workshops | Permalink | Comments (8)
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This weekend unfolded beautifully beginning with a Saturday live Lodge journey circle at Teahouse Studio in Berkeley, CA with a very open-hearted group of women whom I would like to share with you here. Promise. I'll give a full report of the serious MAGIC this week.
Then it gave way to a hike out to Point Reyes Station, after winding up the curvaceous roads through a magical fern forest and past many clovery fields of cows.
photo by Elke May
I'm so grateful to my co-pilots, who kept me inspired, chatted, coffee'd and fed on our journey, and to SouLodge clansister Alara Castell, who created the below video for us to recount our magic moments in Elk country.
Posted at 09:12 PM in Grateful, Wild Woman | Permalink | Comments (9)
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Thank you all so very much for your sweet comments and shares last week over the loss of my cat. It was a very difficult time and I had to key into my intuition in a way that makes me pretty uncomfortable until I'm certain that it makes sense in the end. This is that part of trusting the journey that I get to practice a lot. I've been sensing him around us and it's heartening to know that his extreme loving energy is still at work from the other side. I've been snuggling up to his brother and sharing my thoughts with him, which is nice. It is wholly strange to be a one cat household for the first time in almost 16 years.
Last week I joined an enormous group of freinds in New York City to celebrate a friend's showcase at American Songbook in Lincoln Center. Jonatha Brooke played for us in an intimate theater with Dar Williams and we were all able to get together in one place afterward for some communing, which did my heart so much good. It was a whirlwind trip, but so worth it to be able to support Jonatha's big moment sharing tracks from her tribute to Woodie Guthrie. She is our songbird of Squam Art Workshops and it's been a highlight of attending and teaching there to hear her cathartic tunes these years. Her words and voice move me to tears every time I have the blessing to see her.
The very best part of rooming with and seeing some of my favorite girls is that we laughed, laughed and laughed more than I really believed possible.
I left for the city not feeling altogether humorous, which is one of my best defenses for the crabby-gloomies, and I came home feeling released and clear.
Silly Swirly.
And...it's so good to be back home...
Posted at 04:10 PM in Inspiring People, Music, Travel | Permalink | Comments (3)
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Thank you all so very much for your sweet comments and shares last week over the loss of my cat. It was a very difficult time and I had to key into my intuition in a way that makes me pretty uncomfortable until I'm certain that it makes sense in the end. This is that part of trusting the journey that I get to practice a lot. I've been sensing him around a lot and it's heartening to know that his extreme loving energy is still at work from the other side. I've been snuggling up to his brother and sharing my thoughts with him, which is nice. It is wholly strange to be a one cat household for the first time in almost 16 years.
Last week I joined an enormous group of freinds in New York City to celebrate a friend's showcase at American Songbook in Lincoln Center. Jonatha Brooke played for us in an intimate theater with Dar Williams and we were all able to get together in one place afterward for some communing, which did my heart so much good. It was a whirlwind trip, but so worth it to be able to support Jonatha's big moment sharing tracks from her tribute to Woodie Guthrie. She is our songbird of Squam Art Workshops and it's been a highlight of attending and teaching there to hear her cathartic tunes these years. Her words and voice move me to tears every time I have the blessing to see her.
The very best part of rooming with and seeing some of my favorite girls is that we laughed, laughed and laughed more than I really believed possible.
I left for the city not feeling altogether humorous, which is one of my best defenses for the crabby-gloomies, and I came home feeling released and clear.
Silly Swirly.
As always, it's so good to be back home...
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Posted at 04:10 PM in Inspiring People, Music, Travel | Permalink | Comments (1)
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